Posted by John on October 20, 2002 at 17:59:28:
In Reply to: Acne scarring,self esteem and Roaccutane!!....Does it make us unattractive to girls? posted by Darren on July 23, 2002 at 14:37:53:
hmmm, Roaccutane has created many problems for me. I had terrible acne and cystic inflamation on my face and neck and not a spot on my back or chest. All the stuff my GP perscribed just wasted my time. Then I was referred for Roaccutane and got the go-ahead for it. Brilliant, I thought, at last something that can be done.
At first I thought the side-effects were worth it for clearing up. In a few months my face was almost perfectly clear. Then I was taken of it after the course was finished. Almost the next day my back and chest broke out in terrible cysts and acne. It was awful. I know what you mean about considering suicide and hating yourself because of the way you looked. I'm still on Roaccutane and still developing cysts on my back despite having a relatively clear face.
It hurts emotionally I think to know that when going swimming people stare at the many many scars (on my back I must have in excess of 100 scars and one that is almost 3cm deep) on my back. I can almost feel their eyes drilling into my back.
I got taken of Roaccutane then being told 'There is nothing that can be done'. Roaccutane had failed me. I still had supplies of roaccutane and continued to take them, feeling that they will help. I was addicted to Roaccutane. This caused all sorts of problems but I could not stop taking the drug for I feared my whole body would just become a mess. I closed of all contact with friends and speant the majority of my time in my room (only good thing was I got good with writing poetry).
I'm much better now but still have the acne on my back and chest, the scarring is still there (and at least my dermatologist had the balls to tell me the scarring was atrocious) and emotionally I am not the same. I lost friendships, many of them. But the start of this year I met new friends (Whom i told them about my condition) and they have helped me through so much.
All I can say is that roaccutane isn't the saviour that so many people make it out to be. Yet now I feel it has made me a stronger person, for I beat the problems it posed me...im on roaccutane now still but no longer have the 'must take' feeling.
I did feel suicidal (and often do) but again I can't do it for the sake of my friends and family.
Advice would be just to hang in there, we will be better people for it. And about the relationship thing. I had a girlfriend when I was addicted and when she found out I was somewhat 'unstable' she left me straightaway....the hypocrite, later on she tried to take her own life. But relationship wise, there will be someone for you. I'm a guy who knows that a lot of girls are indeed shallow (but then, so are a lot of guys) but I know that looks count for nothing and if I know it then there's bound to be many others who know it too...and that's an encouraging thought.